Blonde women have always had breakdowns. In the early days of film, they were tied to train tracks, held captive by hooligans, and clutched in the meaty paws of giant gorillas.

Then they were husky-voiced noir vixens and tragic hourglass-figured starlets, unloved trophy wives and “battered” single mothers, heroic good-time girls and gold-hearted hookers—always in need of saving.